When you think about prayer, what comes to mind?  Is it a particular set of words?  A certain time of day?  A set length of time?  Maybe prayer feels like something you only use for making requests or asking for help from God.  Maybe it feels like something that only fits into your life on Sunday mornings or during a defined quiet time before the busyness of the day begins.  I think my kids explained it well when I asked them how they would explain prayer.  My youngest responded, quite simply, “Praying is when you are talking with God.” 

So, let’s break this down, starting with God.  First, we must remember with whom we are talking when we pray.  We are talking with our heavenly dad who cares deeply about every single detail in our lives, always has time for us, relishes in our joy and empathizes in our struggles.  We are also talking with our King who is Lord of all, more powerful that any overwhelming thing going on in our lives, and writer of our stories.  A conversation like that – with a King who loves you and knows you more perfectly than you can fathom – that sounds pretty special. 

After we establish that we are talking with God, let’s discuss the “talking” part.  I grew up in a very traditional church and very often, I heard people praying in “King James English,” rife with enough thees, thous, and thines to rival the KJV Bible translation itself.  They always did it so naturally, as if they spoke a whole special language, and yet this isn’t how they spoke when they asked me to pass them a napkin for their donut during coffee hour after service.  Suffice it to say, I found that confusing. 

In our own way, we kids came up with our own scripted language for talking to God, perhaps to make up for our deficit in the thees, thous, and thines.  It went something like: “Dear Jesus, Thank you for this day.  Thank you for taking care of us and loving us.  In Jesus name, Amen.”  Sometimes prayer feels like a to-do list item, like something we know we’re supposed to do every day – but when we think of it that way, it often sounds much like that kid prayer – simple and grateful, sure, but not much of a conversation. 

Now, was my exposure to “King James English” prayers or my repetitive kid prayer without value?  Not at all.  Hearing older people in my church pray like that inspired in me an important reverence for God.  My simple kid prayer was a good reminder to be grateful every day.  However, both understandings were incomplete.

Talking with God can be as simple as talking to anyone else with whom you have any sort of relationship.  I don’t call my mom and ask her for help remembering “thy spaghetti sauce recipe.”  I don’t have to (and often find it quite challenging to) set aside 30 uninterrupted minutes to ask my husband’s opinion on something that happened during my day.  I maintain running conversations in person and via email, text, and phone call with multiple people in my life every single day – why couldn’t talking with God be like that too?   

The book of Nehemiah provides such a neat example of praying like this.  Nehemiah was tasked with directing the project of rebuilding the wall in Jerusalem following the return of the Jews from exile.  He felt this task laid upon his heart by God, but as cupbearer to King Artaxerxes, he needed to ask permission of the king to go.  Right in the middle of his conversation with the king, as the king asks him what he wants, Nehemiah narrates, “Then I prayed to the God of heaven” (Nehemiah 2:4).  This doesn’t take place during a prescheduled quiet time, but rather, he is talking with God simultaneously as he talks with the king.  This could only have been a short, pointed prayer, as the king was literally awaiting his next sentence.  Later, in Jerusalem, Nehemiah was ridiculed by his enemies Sanballat and Tobiah, who opposed the efforts of the Jews.  They criticized the work of rebuilding the wall, implying that it was purposeless and that the end product would be weak (Nehemiah 4:1-3).  Rather than retorting back, with these men likely in his face, Nehemiah immediately prays to God for help (Nehemiah 4:4-5).  The way this is written in the text feels like stream of consciousness – there isn’t even a pause between the insults and Nehemiah turning to God.  Sometimes, Nehemiah’s short, pointed prayers are recorded in the text.  As even more opposition is leveled against the builders, intending to delay progress until their hands are too tired to continue the work, Nehemiah prays simply, “Now strengthen my hands” (Nehemiah 5:9).  1 Thessalonians 5:17 says that we should “pray without ceasing” and I think this is how we do it.  Prayer can be as simple as a running conversation with God where we seek His will and help even in the small, seemingly insignificant moments in our everyday lives.  

The other important distinction I think we must make is that talking to God is not the same thing as talking with God.  Talking with God implies a conversation.  Rather than a list of requests, worries, or demands, a true conversation requires both talking and listening.  This can be a challenge because listening involves surrendering and not always needing to be in control.  Listening means being open to what God has for us in any given moment or situation.  Perhaps one of these short, pointed “Nehemiah-style” prayers could look as simple as asking God, “What do you want me to do here?” or “What do you have for me in this situation?” when faced with a challenge or a setback in our daily lives.  And then we must be willing to listen for God’s answer.  That might come in the form of a recalled Scripture or the godly advice of a fellow believer.  Sometimes, for me, I have a thought that sounds like it isn’t in my words, or not the way I would have said it and the Holy Spirit nudges me that I’m hearing from God. 

Prayer is, in its simplest explanation, talking with God.  How would our lives be different if we talked with God all throughout our days like Nehemiah?  How much more could He be shaping and sanctifying us if we talked to Him more often before opening our mouths or taking a next step?  How much more of His peace could be ours if we were constantly aware of His presence? 

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