What is the first image that pops into your mind when you think of your Father?  Perhaps you might think of a particular picture of him in a favorite chair or an outfit he always wore. Or maybe there was a vacation spot that your family always went to. If you had to use one word to describe your dad, what would it be?

 

The Bible has many roles given to fathers throughout Scripture. Some of the dads in Scripture were great examples and some left some room for improvement. So what does a “biblical” father look like? Perhaps a better question is what are some characteristics of a godly father? Just because they were a father in the Bible does not mean they were devoted to the Lord. Below are five roles of a godly father.

 

When Moses gives the Law, he commands the people to teach it diligently to their children. Deuteronomy 6:6-7. The verse affirms that the laws should be spoken of often; when at home or at work; when at play or at rest. In every aspect of our life together as a family, God’s word should be intentionally reinforced.

 

How might we do that as a father?

 

We must first know God’s word for ourselves. Therefore, we need to spend time reading Scripture and praying for wisdom with our family.  We then intentionally relay what we learn to our children. We can do this as formally or as informally as we like. The key is to do it with love and consistency. Ephesians 6:4 encourages fathers to not exasperate their children, but to raise them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. As fathers, our aim should help them walk in integrity. Like learning anything new, the process can be frustrating, so guiding with patience and understanding is key.

 

Proverbs 13:24 says, “Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.” The phrase, this is going to hurt me more than it is going to hurt you is true when it comes to enforcing discipline on our children. We do not want to see our children suffer consequences for their actions, but they must learn the importance of obedience. Hebrews 12 reminds us of the importance of the relationship between discipline and love. God disciplines us as his children in order to help us learn and grow (Hebrews 12:11). In the same way, we must continue to carefully discipline our children so they may learn and grow to be the men and women God calls them to be.

 

As important as it is to teach and discipline our children, it is just as important to encourage them. Proverbs 15:1 states that a "gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up dissension." Scripture reminds us constantly to encourage one another. One of the primary roles as a father is to encourage our wives and children. Often this takes a back seat to teaching and correcting. The words sometimes feel unnatural. Yet, we can look at The Heavenly Father’s example. When Jesus came forward at His baptism, the Father affirmed his calling. In Matthew 3:17, The Father says, "This is my son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased." In that simple statement, the Father claims his son, affirms his love, and states his pleasure in him.  At the Transfiguration (Luke 9:35), the Father speaks again and declares Jesus as his chosen Son and tells the disciples to listen to him. This affirmation is another pivotal point in Jesus’ ministry. 

A Father’s affirmation and encouragement makes a life long impact. Having a son hear their dad tell him that he is proud of him after winning an award means more than the award itself. Paul approached his ministry as a father to a child in First Thessalonians 2:11-12 he writes, "For you know that we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children, encouraging, comforting and urging you to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into his kingdom and glory." Our goal as fathers should be to encourage our children to live a life that honors God by living a life that honors God.

 

 

According to the CDC, 85% of all children who show behavior problems come from fatherless homes.  From this statistic, the need for male leadership is obvious.  The Bible talks a lot about the father as leading the family through loving, serving, and providing (1 Timothy 5:8). 

 

A leader of the family, is also someone who sets the example for the family. James 1:22 states, "Do not merely listen to the word and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says." Our children constantly look to see if we are going to practice what we preach. A leader is one who will set the pace and stay the course the entire time. He keeps his word and his children will be proud of him (Proverbs 17:6).

 

Do you think of yourself and your home as a soft place to land? Are you known to your children as a compassionate person? Our Heavenly Father is often compared to a shelter and a refuge.  Compassion and forgiveness are two overlapping qualities that are critical in being a biblical father. Psalm 103:13 says, "As a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him." According to this verse, compassion is an innate quality of fathers. 

 

The greatest display of this characteristic was in the story Jesus told of the prodigal son. The father, after being humiliated and abandoned by his son, greets his estranged son from a long way off and embraces him. He welcomes him, honors him, and prepares a celebration for his return. Rather than punishing his lost son, he becomes a vessel of grace. 

As parents, we want to plan our children’s lives and protect their future. We want to shelter them from every storm. However, the storms will come. Sometimes they will stir up their own whirlwinds. Our role then shifts to offering a refuge and displaying the grace we have received through Christ. 

 

How are we to know when to be which role to our children? In one moment we are to discipline and in another we are to shelter? It almost seems as if they contradict one another. Fortunately, God gives wisdom to anyone who asks (James 1:5-7). Prayerfully seeking God’s wisdom in how to raise our children will help us center our parenting on Christ. Pausing for prayer in a stressful situation before responding helps us not act out of frustration. 

 

At Church on the Hill, it's our privilege to partner with families to raise the next generation of kids and teens.  Visit our Parent Resources hub for more resources like this one that will help to guide your children as they continue to grow in their faith.